Current mood:	discontent
Current music:	"Room Noises," Eisley

lost at sea
It's been a month since I last wrote here. It's really kind of sad that I don't even feel the need to summarize the events that happened in that time. Alas.

I've been listening to Eisley all day. It makes me want to go for walks in bare winter woods and take fragile black and white photos.

Thanksgiving passed without much in the way of excitement. A small portion of my family got together at my brother's house to eat the decaying corpse of a tortured bird and watch football. I took spinach and butternut squash pasta but no one really touched it except for my mom. Whatever. More for me. In the past few days I have also made: black beans burgers, chocolate pudding cake, and apple spice streusel muffins. The muffins sounds great, right? Yeah, not so much. Very disappointing. I may actually throw them out, which is nearly unheard of in this house. Throw out a baked good? Madness! But these are just so bland. The streusel tastes like sand. I hate it when things accidentally rhyme and then I feel like I have to go back and reword everything. Fuck that.

I need to find a recipe for veggie burgers that don't suck. The ones I made this week are okay, but they're very... smushy. And if there's one thing I don't like it my food, it's smush. I made one for lunch today and I guess I didn't heat it for long enough because when I ate it it was still cold in the middle. Cold AND smushy. Delicious, I know. I am a gourmet chef, make no mistake.

Anyway. My uncle died. It feels so weird to just say that. It feels weirder to not be very sad about it. I mean, yes, it's sad. But we weren't close. I haven't seen him (or my aunt, for that matter) since I was maybe 12 or 13. So a good ten years has passed. My dad called tonight to tell me that the wake is tomorrow morning. I work in the afternoon, but I could make it work. Hell, I could call off and no one would think worse of me for it. The death of a relative is as valid an excuse as you're going to get until you keel over yourself. But I'm still unsure of whether I want to go or not. I probably should.

I've had pretty much the whole week off school and still managed to get nothing done. Is there an actual condition wherein a person has no motivation whatsoever? Because if there is then I have it. I don't know what the hell my problem is otherwise. I kind of want to punch myself in the face, but I can't even muster the motivation to do that. Mostly because it would hurt. But still.

The end of the semester is fast approaching and I kind of feel like I'm going to be asphyxiated by a logjam of due dates. Fun! See above re: chronic inability to get off my ass.

On that note, I need to sleep.